Martes, Hulyo 8, 2014

MY UFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE

Sheila Mae D. Calma                                                                                     Mr. Marco Meduranda
9- C. Aquino
DRAFT #2
MY UNFORGETTABLE EXPERIENCE
It was already in the middle of the night. I could see the twinkling sky, the frightening dark that surrounds everything on the outside of our cottage. Me and my cousin, Cherry sneaked out in the middle of the night. Yes, we sneaked out. Just because she wanted to know how it would feels if she swam in the middle of the night. And, while my parents and her parents are sleeping soundly in their room, we sneaked out. Cool, right? They told us before they sleep that we shouldn't go outside because it’s really dangerous. But, my naughty cousin will be always naughty. “Hey. Sheila! Hurry up. Mom and Auntie might catch us!” she whispered. “Ugh! Wait for me, Cherry. You are the one who planned this so you have to endure me.” I said to her while rolling my eyes. “Duh! I just want to try how would it feels to swim in the middle of the night.”  She said excitedly. “You’re weird. I mean, really weird.”  I said straightly to her while she just rolled her eyes on me. And when we’re in the middle of walking when there was a breeze came, I suddenly hugged my body. “Hey. Cherry!  I think we should stop this. I have a bad feeling it. Mom and Auntie will be mad if they knew about this!” I anxiously said. I don’t know what I said that, it just came out.
“What? Are you crazy? We are already here, so why back off?” She irritably said. “Look, how beautiful the sea is. You don’t want to miss it. Don’t you?” she said again. I sighed in defeated, knowing her she won’t give up easily. And in the wink of eye, I saw her already in the sea, swimming happily.
Minute passed but feels like years. She just swam there like a little kid that doesn't have any awareness on her surroundings. She was really happy, it’s like she didn't swim for years! And while I’m watching her swimming there, I didn't realize that she’s already going far and then my world stopped in the moment when I saw her drowning while pleading for help. I don’t know how to swim but I want to help her, but it’s like my feet was cement on the sand. And I just stood there, staring at her tensely. I still not realizing what’s happening in the moment but, it came back again when my Mom, tapped my space and asked what’s wrong. But I didn't reply, because I’m too shock to what happened. Then, I saw my Auntie saving Cherry. I sighed in relief. My mom still asking what happened but I was really too shock that I can’t even speak anything at the moment. Then, I feel something click in my head, I feel dizzy. Then suddenly, everything went black.
“I told you not to go outside, right? But why you still didn't listen to me?! You might know what may happen if we are not there!” Auntie’s voice echoed in our room. Her face was really red, her voice was trembling in anger but you can still see the concern in her eyes. I understand her because if they came late, Cherry might die. “Calm down, honey. It’s okay.” Uncle said calmly but I know that he’s angry of what happened. “But, I hope you've learned something on this. Hmm, Sheila and Cherry?” he said again while tapping the back of Auntie. How about my Mom? Well, she slapped me. Then told me what I did is wrong. And for me, it’s really fine; she had right to do that to me, she’ll always have. She’s my mother, after all.

After an hour passed, they let us go. It feels like years while us inside that room. Then, suddenly my eyes widen when Cherry shouted.  And I think I know what she’s going to do. “I told you not to go outside, right?!” I chuckled.  I’m right! Cherry is being naughty again. What she’s doing? She’s mimicking Auntie’s lectured to us while doing some crazy actions. “You never learn, don’t you?” I said laughing while moving my head. “I've learned something.” She said while grinning.  “And that is?” I asked.  “My mom’s newest lectured. It’s not like the other lectures she said to me. ”And we laughed like there’s no tomorrow. But I know, even though she’s really naughty, she learned something. How about me? Of course, I learned something, and that is to obey your parents no matter what happen because they know what’s right and wrong for us.

4 (na) komento:

  1. Creative story. I like the way you described your surroundings, and also for the choice of words that you used. :)

    TumugonBurahin
  2. Nice personal narrative. :) Avoid repitition of words. I really like your story. =)))

    TumugonBurahin
  3. Your work is so nice! =) I like the way you described what happened that night. :) Great job!

    TumugonBurahin
  4. I like your blog , I love the way how you described everything around you , Keep it up ,

    TumugonBurahin